Holding Space
Today was one of the hardest days of Micah’s journey.
Early this morning, we received a call that something had gone very wrong during a procedure he needed in order to start dialysis. We rushed to the hospital immediately. When we arrived, the doctors told us they were preparing to take him into emergency surgery, but after assessing him closely, they realized his body was far too high-risk to survive it. There was simply no safe way to move forward.
Dialysis was meant to give his body a fighting chance by flushing out the toxins that have been building up in his blood. Without it, those toxins stay in his system, affecting every organ, every cell, and every neuron. Over time, it becomes too much for the body to overcome.
Since the procedure couldn’t be completed, there’s nothing more they can do for his kidneys. So now, the focus has shifted to keeping him comfortable and peaceful. He is still vented, and sometimes his body reflexively fights against the ventilator as it tries to breathe on its own. Even though there’s no sedation left in his system, he isn’t waking up. And we believe the encephalopathy is the reason why. His brain is simply too overwhelmed by the toxins to come fully back.
We’ve put up a few pictures of him around the room, photos of Micah before all of this, in moments where his personality shines. We wanted the nurses and doctors to see him for who he is outside of the hospital bed: human, smart, capable, loving, funny, and deeply loved. Not just a patient. Not just a chart. Someone who mattered long before these machines and monitors.
We’ve been told he will likely remain in this state through the weekend, possibly until Monday.
Right now, our time with him is quiet, gentle, and intentional. We’re talking to him, holding his hands, playing the music he loves, and making sure he’s surrounded by people who adore him. Even though he isn’t awake, we’re staying with him every step of the way.
There is no easy way to move through something like this, but we’re leaning on each other, breathing through each moment, and taking things minute by minute. For everyone who has been following along and supporting us — thank you. Your love has carried us farther than you know.
I’ll keep sharing updates when I can. Please keep Micah and our family in your thoughts.
-The Family
